Anticipation

4 weeks ago I was planning a Bible study and anticipating things to do on my birthday. 4 weeks later I am planning a Bible study and anticipating videoing when they cut off my cast and see what my foot looks like.  Life is all about perceptive and how we handle the little things that change our plans. I absolutely love my horse time...I didn't realize how much that simple chore time comforted me and filled a hole in my heart. I knew that riding Charlie, or even sugar and BFG made me feel good must I didn't  about it as comforting, but to push all other reasons aside, it's comforting. Right now I do very little things that comfort me.  To comfort according to the dictionary one of the meanings is to alleviate ones pain, to soothe, console or aid in ones distress and to encourage and make ones hearts sing.  I am in the heart singing arena when I am with the horses...and right now I am not able to do that...yet...So, I sit and look out the window at the snow and dream of what I will do when I am released from my hobbles.  
4 weeks ago I had plans...in those 4 weeks several of those plans had to be let go. When things are totally out of your control, you let them go. When we think we can manipulate the conditions, we hold on and use all our options to change the facts. So if you wonder what one does all day when one can't do much... Bible study does take up a lot of my time,,but so do puzzles, coloring, writing letters, trying to get food for lunch, today I will dust and clean and that will be an all day interesting challenge between crutches and the scooter.  Even though it takes all day, there is some odd reward in seeing the clean floor even for a few minutes before the dogs run in and love me by sharing their wet footprints and plop on the floor.  I hobble, I scoot and I discover that I really am glad I had been working so I am fairly decent condition and I do miss the YMCA. I miss being sweaty and panting and sitting in the hot tub... Which reminds me that I haven't submersed myself in a tub for 4 weeks also. Taking a bath with a leg hanging out of the bathtub is quite the accomplishment...and 4 weeks ago I didn't even think about not taking a shower for 2 months.
So now, my anticipation is based on other things than a month ago.  My time in a boot has given me a unique look at life...slower.  I have achieved sitting most of the day and not going loopy.  I find contentment in three puzzle pieces together and coloring. But I am anticipating getting up and doing chores in the mud, that old cart hart coat and the smell of hay and duck poop.
And in the meantime, I love my new comfy couch in ways I had not anticipated...the old saying my friend Emma always said, "God is already there."  In other words we do things in life and God has plans for us that we had no clue he was working out for our good.... So just keep doing and God will provide the comfy couches you need to hang our for 8 weeks....